Amber Valletta - Mind Body Green

July 2024 · 4 minute read
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Media Platforms Design Team

In a video MindBodyGreen.com has called "How I Live with My Addiction," Valletta opens by saying, "I'm coming out to you today as an addict, I suffer from a disease called addiction, I've had it for as long as I can remember."

Wearing all black and looking as beautiful as she has in any editorial, the model-turned-actress says she is there to help "get them (other addicts) out of the shadows of addiction and bring them into the light." Valletta highlights the beginnings of her addiction: "I started trying to get out of myself at a very young age…I believe addiction is genetic and I'm predisposed to it…" She continues with specifics: "When I was about eight I sniffed markers, I sniffed glue, fingernail polish, anything that could give me a buzz…then I found drugs that were around the culture of my family—there was marijuana, joints. By 10 I think I had been high. Sorry mom, if you're listening." She's careful to point out that she doesn't harbor resentment toward others for her issues, explaining, "I am not a victim. I don't blame my parents, I don't blame my family…I know for certain that I am an addict and even if I had this amazing childhood, I'd still want to get higher, I'd still want to distract myself."

The midwest-born Valletta goes on to discuss the modeling industry and its role in her drug and alcohol use: "When I was eighteen I moved to Europe and I found cocaine and I found alcohol and I was good to go…I was in a business where drugs and alcohol were widely available, they were given to me again and again and I don't blame anyone. I take full responsibility." She highlights the mindset of being a young person in the fashion industry: "I didn't have any tools, I was this socially inept kid. I was thrown into this very sophisticated world and I was from Oklahoma and I didn't have that kind of upbringing," Valletta says. "I was at the top of my game, I was 20 years old had everything in front of me and I put everything on the line for my addiction: my friendships, my family, my job. I had a multi-million dollar deal and I showed up on my first day to shoot this campaign high and drunk. I didn't care…"

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Media Platforms Design Team

Valletta (far left) at Versace's Fall 1993 Couture show.

After years of using drugs and alcohol, the fashion icon turned her life around. "I got sober at 25, not because I had the willpower, but because I didn't want to die and I really believed there had to be something more than I was doing," she says. In order to deal with her addiction, she says, "I continually turn inward…I've had to seek out other programs…I had to meditate…I'm not saying this is the be all, end all, but I had to find a spiritual compass. I had to go out and help other people with addiction. I had to say I'm an addict, I don't want to do this alone…" Valletta continues to battle her addiction daily, saying "I have to constantly be vigilant."

Watch the whole very brave talk below.

Headshot of Kerry Pieri

Kerry Pieri is Harper's Bazaar's Digital Fashion/Features Director. Kerry oversees the fashion vertical for BAZAAR.com, including launching digital covers, styling celebrity features, and managing recurring features including Brand Watch and My Life in Three Looks. In addition, Kerry edits the “best of” each season, from shoes to bags, denim and coats, and is consistently looking for shifts in the fashion realm to lend a voice. Kerry formerly served as the Editorial Director of  StyleCaster.com and as a producer at Full Frontal Fashion. She lives in New York with her husband Steve, and baby girl Lila Sky.

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